5 Months this Sunday-What I know now

Bubster will be 5 months old this Sunday. I absolutely cannot believe it. It seems like just yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital. Hes such a sweet baby and has such a calm, gentle spirit. His name: Geoffrey David, means: "Gift of peace" and "beloved friend" Those names are so true of my little boy. Friends, I very much believe there is importance and power in the meaning of the names we give our children. Almost like a blessing and a prayer for their mark on the world.

I have learned so much about myself and the world of parenting and motherhood in these past five months, its crazy. Its almost like a dimension of society you never have to venture into unless you have or want to. Ive learned a ton about pregnancy, birthing, breast/bottle feeding, diapering, various parenting philosophies..and not just from my own experiences. Women I knew in my life before I had children have opened up and shared their stories and experiences, all unique, all different. I feel like I can connect with all mothers now on a level I was never able to before. Life is cool that way.

One thing that does hurt though, is the judgement that goes on in the parenting world. There is no book on how to parent, we all know that...and we can all think we know what we're going to do in certain situations, but the truth is, all you can do is prepare. You cant decide the future, you can't control the reaction of your child, and you might just have to settle for something other than you had your heart set on because it just didnt work out the way you planned.

Reading my last post, from February, I had just made the hard decision to bottle feed Geoffrey. I was crushed and devastated that I couldnt make it work. I felt like I gave up, I couldnt do it, I didnt have what it takes to breastfeed...whatever that means. Even today, as I sit here typing this, I am tearing up because it was something I wanted so badly. Something I thought was just going to happen and that was that. It didnt even dawn on me that we would have as much trouble as we did. He is a happy, healthy baby and everything is fine. I know that, and it feels incredibly silly to still get upset over it...but I do. Its like nothing I've ever had to deal with. I want to provide whats best for my child. "Breast is best" right? Oh, so I'm not doing the best? Thanks. That makes me feel awesome. I understand its just a slogan, and its good to encourage people to do it...and I will absolutely try again with my subsequent children, but my goodness. I am glad I made the decision I did, and everything is great--I guess it will always help me to understand that this is just one of the first of many times I will have to weigh the costs and make decisions in parenting. And be more empathetic to the stories and experiences of others.

Cool things he has done lately:

Rolls from belly to back
laughs
puts his toes in his mouth
sits up with support
plays in the activity center...uses his legs to push off

I'm one proud, lucky mama!

The Power of 10

Written VERY early Saturday morning:

As I sit here, the clock on my phone reads 3:57am. I just put Geoffrey back to sleep after feeding and burping him. While he was busy sucking down his last ounce, I realized something. He is the motivation for me to be a happy, healthy person. Caring every day for my almost 2 month old, I have more drive and feel more determination to be a better person. After many tears and struggles, we have decided to bottle feed him. It was a heartbreaking decision, but in two weeks he went from around 9lbs to 10.4lbs. I have made this decision and honestly, am a lot less stressed and I can be a better mommy to my son. It works for us.

We have made a lot of progress in those two weeks, he sparked the idea of the power of 10. My current set of goals surround the number 10:

1. Exercise at least 10mins a day.
2. Lose the remaining 10lbs to return to my pre-baby weight.
3. Schedule 10 jewelry shows for the spring.
4. Set time aside for prayer and devotion at 10:00 (am OR pm)

Two of my friends and I have also made a list of active things we want to do or try in Cincinnati over this next year:

• Roller skating
• Hiking
• Rock Quest
• Swimming
• Hot Yoga
• Laser Tag
• Camping
• Cycling
• Tennis
• Walking
• Zumba
• Spinning
• Yoga
• Pilates
• boot camp
• salsa
• belly dancing
• soccer
• run @ Nippert Stadium

Fitness 2012, baby!

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